That Time Coffee Almost Killed Me

Hey Internet! Happy Tuesday. We have officially entered test-season over here. I had one last Thursday, I just finished one and I have one this Thursday. Plus I take the GRE next Wednesday, so nbd, I’m just freaking out all of the time. I’m taking a quick break between test-taking and test-studying to tell you about a day last week where coffee literally almost killed me.

It was the day of the first test of the semester and I had gotten around 2 hours of sleep (I wasn’t up studying- I just seriously couldn’t fall asleep. It was a problem) I knew I needed energy in order to power through my classes (as well as go to Hollywood Studios with Adorabeezle Winterpop afterwards because, you know, good life choices and all that).

I figured that Test Day deserved some Starbucks . And that that Starbucks needed to be a venti and while we are at it, let’s add an extra shot of espresso because I got no sleep and, you know, good life choices. So I ordered my new favorite drink – a cinnamon dolce flat white with said extra shot and when I got it I looked at the label and it hit me that I had just purchased a beverage with a QUADRUPLE shot of espresso. You know, like someone who makes good life choices.


So I drank my coffee (in record time) and I went to school and I totally killed my test and then I sat through my second class. By the end I was exhausted again so I walked over to the coffee shop in the school library and got a medium Mayan mocha because, you know, good life choices (this also happened to be espresso shots 5 and 6 for those of you keeping track at home).


So I drank my (really amazing) latte and sat through my two hour linear algebra class and went home. Then I Adorabeezle and I promptly left to go to the Studios (We had a dismantled hat to see). So we get to Hollywood and – what’s this? – the park’s Starbucks opened yesterday?! DON’T MIND IF I DO!!


And this is where the life choices go bad. Very very bad. Turns out chugging half of a grande iced caramel macchiato (shots 7 and 8) after 6 other shots of espresso and I don’t even want to think about how much milk will make you want to die.

Honestly, I don’t think it was the coffee as much as the milk. My stomach basically gave up on life and made it very clear that if I did not find something healthy to put into it right away it was going to revolt. So I got the healthiest theme park food I could find (a quinoa and arugula salad topped with Salmon – it was pretty dang delicious). And waited for my body to start functioning properly. Which it eventually did.

Basically the entire day was a lesson in why maybe I should pay more attention to what I am doing to my body. Also that caffeine does not have lasting effects on me and maybe I should just try napping next time. Maybe.

Has coffee ever tried to kill you Internet? Or am I the only dumb one around these parts?

9 Responses to That Time Coffee Almost Killed Me

  1. Twice actually….. The first time was after taking three extra strength Excedrin, which contain caffeine. I seriously thought I was having a heart attack in my early twenties. Turns out my body just wasn’t a fan of caffeine. Second time was a couple years later when I discovered Starbucks and thought I could handle a venti mocha with an extra shot to wake me up. Duh….forgot about that “my body doesn’t like caffeine” thing. At least I wasn’t as worried about the heart attack symptoms this time around. I’ve worked my way up to handling a double shot nowadays, but would never chance 6 or 7. Are you crazy?!?!?!? 😉

  2. Stephanie Anderson says:

    One time I consumed a six-shot venti mocha at approximately 2pm, after having had 2.5 cups of regular coffee AND an 18 oz coke that morning. I had super powers for about two hours, and then felt very strange for several more hours before the inevitable crash. The next day was like being hungover, but from caffeine instead of alcohol.

    You are not alone in your systematic abuse of caffeine, Liz!

  3. Jenny says:

    I’m super sensitive to caffeine so I would’ve died after that first drink you had! I have those little reusable pod things for my keurig, so that I can brew my own coffee grounds rather than buying expensive k-cups all the time. When I first started using it, I filled the little pod all the way to the top, and ALWAYS felt like I was going to die after drinking coffee. I was super jittery and my heart was beating at a million times an hour. I don’t know why I didn’t realize that I didn’t have to fill it up all the way lol…there’s even a “maximum” line in it! Anyway, I almost died several times from that. Now I’m much more careful.

  4. Alex says:

    Sounds like the appropriate amount of coffee to take on the beginning of the week, haha! Crazy to see the Sorcerer Hat coming down, what is the new landmark for Hollywood Studios going to be?

  5. Pingback: Cold Brewed Iced Coffee | Method One | Baby Got BA

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