Billy Mays Lied to Me

This year I got cash money for my birthday, and I immediately took to the outlet mall.  40 minutes later I was out of birthday money, but I had a Vera Bradley tote and 2 cute shirts to show for it. The first shirt was a cute grey number with detailing around the collar and the second shirt was a cream tee with gold sparkly stripes.

I was in love.

Not even a month later I was wearing the gold stripped shirt and applying my make up when I squirted a huge glob of Urban Decay Naked Foundation all over the front of it.

But I didn’t panic! I immediately took the shirt off and treated it with spot treatment. I was sure the spot would come out, so I washed it.

The spot didn’t come out.

I left the spot remover on over night and washed it again.

The spot didn’t come out.

I knew what I needed: Oxyclean.

Billy Mays wouldn’t let me down. I bought some Oxyclean and washed the shirt a third time.

The flipping spot did not come out.

Now I was getting mad. I decided to do a full-on Oxyclean soak. I put my beloved shirt in a gallon and a half of Oxyclean water and set a timer for six hours. A hour later I returned to stir my shirt-y bouillabaisse, and was met with a horrible sight: my shirt had lost it’s sparkle. Instead of glittery gold strips, my shirt now had golden-orange strips. It was still cute, but ultimately disappointing. I left it to soak for the full six hours and then washed it as directed.


I immediately took to the internet to see if I could order another shirt, but fall had come and the outlets no longer offered it. I ordered a few shirts that were on sale in order to numb my pain, but it still hurt. A product – ad more importantly a man – I had trusted had let me down. Billy had screamed about the stain fighting power so excitedly that I believed him! I took him at his word – Oxyclean would solve my laundry woes. But he had lied to me, and I had to say goodbye to a shirt I loved because of him.

 Billy Mays Lied To Me

What about you, Internet? Have you ever been burned by Billy?

7 Responses to Billy Mays Lied to Me

  1. Alex says:

    Oh no! I’m normally a Shout girl, did you dry the shirt afterwards (because that sets in the stain) if not you might be able to take it to a cleaners!

    • Liz says:

      I initially used shout. The shirt got put in the dryer while I was out because I have amazing roommates who will help in my laundry process, so that may be part of it. But I like to blame Billy Mays.

  2. If a stains sets, like you wash it and it doesn’t come out with spot remover….use dawn dishsoap…it worked for me. but i am terribly sorry about the shirt!

  3. I have stained TWO shirts with that stuff–it kind of makes me nervous to put it on my skin now because NOTHING makes it come out.

  4. Pingback: Rosie Love, Daisy Love.

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