I Have Forgotten What Well-Rested Feels like

I have a confession, Internet.

I am exhausted. Totally and completely just…tired.

I have been spreading myself too thin since December and I am running out of steam. Fast.

You know it’s bad when a trip out of state is the most relaxing few days you have had in months (air travel is notorious for wearing me out) but there you have it.

This is my exhausted face.

So trip to Denver. “Seriously Liz?” I hear you say. “You went to Denver AGAIN? If you love Denver so much why don’t you marry it?” And to that I say yes. Yes I did go to there again. But I could never marry Denver because then I would be forced to cheat on my city spouse with Orlando and adultery is wrong. Also, you can’t marry a city. That is just crazy internet. I really don’t know what you are thinking.

Anyway. I went to Denver this weekend because my bestie was celebrating an important birthday and I went out to surprise her because I like birthdays. And surprises. And warmth. (PS- Only when you are living in the Chicagoland area do you go to Denver and take a screencap of a 35 degree weather report and send it to your friends back home with the message “Jealous Bitches?!” And only when you live in the Chicagoland area do they all reply in the affirmative. It was positively balmy.)

So I survived the massive anxiety that accompanies a surprise and all the heart palpitations of excitement and terror (because WHAT IF I RUIN IT) and got to Denver on time and without giving it away. Her hubby had planned a surprise dinner at an AMAZING restaurant and we gathered and waited for them to show up. And they got there and it was a lot of “What are you doing here?” and “Birthday Surprise!” and “Yay yay birthday yay!” and the food was SO. FLIPPIN. GOOD. I had mushroom risotto and seriously thought I was dying. It was that good. And we had drinks and dessert and had a great group of people to celebrate. We closed down the restaurant and then went home and passed out. (Did I mention I’ve been tired internet?)

The next day the bestie and I slept in and then got some breakfast and went to the mall. Do you know how much I miss the mall? I haven’t had time to enjoyment-shop since before Christmas. I love just walking around the mall and browsing. I got a ring and the bestie got a purse and it was just so nice to meander through all the pretties. And to be in a store that wasn’t Target. (Don’t get me wrong, Internet. I LOVE Target. But I have been desperately needing some variety in my shopping life.) And then we went back home and watched Mulan and ordered in sushi and relaxed and it was EXACTLY what I needed.

I actually had to leave town to relax. This is strange for me because my vacations tend to be beastly and not relaxing at all. So was super rare and I was so super excited.

Then we watched Hercules and I got caught up on New Girl and Modern Family and then the Bestie had to get ready to go do a reading of a play. And I got to watch Parks and Recreation until it was time for me and the MOH to go see the reading. (I know wedding week is over, but I have called her the MOH so many times that it has stuck. I like it. That’s her new blog name.) We got a glass of wine before the reading, which was super nice. Because the MOH is awesome. And has so much wisdom. And glasses of wine were half price because we inadvertently crashed a mixer. Oops. Not sorry. Me and my $4 glass of wine are totally ok with the arrangement.

Maybe too ok with the arrangement, because we were almost totally late to the reading. But we made it!

The reading was composed of 3 different one-act plays that were written by high school students.  First of all, if there is anything in the world that will make an (only slightly shiftless) twenty-three year old feel bad about their life it is seeing three plays written by teenagers and thinking “Wow. That was pretty good.”  What will make that twenty-three year old feel even worse  is seeing a play written by a HIGH SCHOOL FRESHMAN who is very clearly MORE SELF ACTUALIZED than said (really I’m ONLY SLIGHTLY shiftless) twenty-three year old.

The one-act play my bestie was in was phenomenal. And I am fairly certain this is not bias speaking. Yes, my bestie was AMAZING in it. But if someone else had been playing her part, I still think I would have been blown away. Because this play? It was my life.

It was written by a painfully shy girl about a painfully shy girl and it resonated so deeply with this painfully shy girl right here.  Guys, I cannot even tell you.  When it started I couldn’t help thinking “Woah. This was me in high school.” Then as it progressed and the main character begins to step out a bit I was struck with how this is basically me now.  AND THEN she began owning it more hardcore than I do and I couldn’t help hoping that maybe that would be me in the future.

And then I remembered that it was written by a fifteen year old about a fifteen year old and I got horribly depressed. Wait. No I didn’t. That was a bad joke. But I did decide that maybe I need to do me just a bit more because if a 15 year old (who moved here from Korea last  August by the way) can so eloquently express (in beautifully broken English no less) the importance of being brave and being yourself, then I really need to step up my game. It was pretty fitting because while I was drinking wine with the MOH she had told me that I need to do me more. (I told you she had so much wisdom!!)

Anyway, the play was really impressive and made me think and that is the mark of a good one act play play by a TEENAGER. (I am not bitter.I might be a bit bitter.Or jealous. Or both.)

Anyway, after the reading there was a reception and there was free food and wine and dancing and fun times were had. And then it was time to go home and pass out again. (Seriously internet. SO tired.)

The next day we went to church and got brunch and then had a lazy day. It was so needed.

And then I went to the airport and bought a moleskin notebook (at an astronomical price – Thanks Hudson Books. For ripping off unprepared travelers everywhere!) and spent the next 3 hours processing all my feels and some pretty legit social anxieties I have.

And it was great.

I’m still very tired. I’m still spread probably a bit too thin. But I am emotionally a little refreshed. And I am giving myself the week. I am taking this week and clearing my schedule. I am going to spend my nights in and by by myself. I may write. I may plan out some bigger life things. I may cook. I may clean. I WILL sleep. But whatever ends up happening, I am taking this week to do me.

And then next week I will incorporate that into my social life.

So we will see internet. We will see what happens. Whatever it is, I think it is going to be good.

What do you do when you are spread a bit too thin? Comment and let me know!

3 Responses to I Have Forgotten What Well-Rested Feels like

  1. GFGidget says:

    I am so proud of you! You can do this! Just do “you” for a little while. When I’m spread too thin, I try to take a yoga class on my lunch break. It’s so restorative and reminds me to breathe. Things really aren’t as bad as they seem. I love you, lady!

    • Liz says:

      Thank you! You inspired me!! Maybe I will try the kind of yoga where you can be weak and inflexible. And then one day maybe I will stop being weak and inflexible! That would be awesome.

  2. Pingback: A Me-Week Update

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