Clearly I Don’t Know What Awesome Means

Know what’s awesome?

Going to run an errand on your lunch break and realizing at check out that your mom has your debit card and driver’s license because you thought it would be easier to keep them in her purse than your backpack at the airport yesterday and then you totally forgot to take them out again once you were through security.

It’s almost as awesome as realizing that for some reason you have your checkbook, which you never have on you, so you could write a check for the $12 purchase you are trying to make, except that they need your driver’s license to process the check so you still can’t run your errand.

That is all made even more awesome by the realization that you were planning on buying your lunch today and you are hungry and have no food.

Add that to the fact that you drove your mom’s much nicer and more expensive car to work today (just in case the lost luggage came in and she was able to drive out to pick up the dogs) with no proof of being a licensed driver on your person, and you’ve got yourself an awesome sandwich.

Your awesome sandwich pairs well with the fact that the airline still has absolutely no idea where your luggage is so driving her car to work was kind of a moot point, because she has to stay in and wait for the airline to call.

If you want to make it even more awesome, make sure that you packed all of your make up in your checked bag so that the odds of you looking presentable in the foreseeable future are drastically low.

If you really want to go all the way down the road to awesome though, you really should make sure you catch the death first, so that as all of this is going down you will feel like an asthmatic zombie who forgot how their nose works. Also, get very little sleep so you also look like said zombie.

And don’t forget to have a shattered phone. That’s the awesome cherry on top of the awesome sundae that is your first day back from vacation.

I was being sad with the Gargoyle. He knew the things to come.
How are you doing internet? Anyone feeling as awesome as I am right now?

PS I did get to eat, because I somehow had my mom’s debit card on my person. Also my grandparents picked up the dogs, so our pets have not been abandoned. So those are good things I guess.

PPS My bestie is getting into town tonight, so none of that other stuff really matters because her visit WILL be awesome

PPPS Ok, the luggage thing matters a little. I would like to have my luggage.

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