So You Want to Be a Hobo

Hey Internet! If there is anything I have learned over the past month of living in Orlando, it is that I make an excellent hobo. Since I was without a job and my school schedule isn’t too horribly busy, I have spent a great deal of time living as a semi-recluse. And I thought I would give you some pointers in case you were looking to join me in my Hobo-dom.

Step One: Don’t get out of bed until at least noon. You don’t gots nowhere fancy to be!

Step Two: When you get out of be, you may think you need a shower. Don’t. Wait. There is a time for cleanliness, but that time is not now.

Step Three: Coffee. You may be a hobo, but you are still human. Caffeine it up!

Step Four: Eat something that you don’t have to cook: granola bars, cookies, berries that you foraged, ect.

Step Five: Lay on couch and watch tv or read. Stay there for five hours.

Step Six: Begin to worry that you smell and resign yourself to showering.

Step Seven: Shower, but don’t wash your hair. You still want to appear at least slightly vagrant-y.

Step Eight: Put your pjs on. This is not a time for real pants.

Step Nine: Eat lunch at dinner time. Again, try not to cook anything. The microwave is your friend.

Step Ten: Back to the couch for the reading and the TV.

Step Eleven: Go to bed and repeat tomorrow.

Did I miss anything, Internet? What do you do when you have a hobo day?

5 Responses to So You Want to Be a Hobo

  1. Nina says:

    This* is not the time for real pants (hahahaha)

    *I’ve found it is rarely the time for real pants (seriousness)

  2. Alex says:

    Real pants are definitely not an option…. elastic waist all the way!

  3. “This is not a time for real pants.” Hahahhaha SO good!

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