Hey Internet! I promise after today I am done reposting for a while an leaving it up to Jackie to add any more content while I am away. Yesterday I revisited my live-blogging vacation posts, (here) and today we are wrapping it up.Lets do this!
It is my last day in Disney Internet. And it may well be my last day on earth. I have come down with a bad case of what I have named “Devil Blisters” and I’m pretty sure they are going to kill me in my sleep. I have named them Devil Blisters because they are like regular blisters except that they are as black as the Devil’s soul. They will probably rupture soon and fill my body with what I can only assume is a vastly toxic substance.
To answer your question (and by that, I mean my question,) No. They are not dye from my socks because I wore pink socks today. And yes, I totally tried washing the black off and it is definitely INSIDE MY FOOT.
So I just wanted to say farewell Internet. It’s been fun. A regular Michael Scott’s Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Pro-Am Fun Run Race for the Cure, if you will.
And if I somehow manage to survive the night I will update you on what I assume will be my quickly worsening condition. Because I care. (And just so you know how much I care, I would also like to tell you that I am typing on a shattered iPhone screen because someone (read: me) dropped it this morning. Clearly I cannot be held responsible for any typos in this post.)
So, so long Internet. If we do not meet again, just know I love you.
And if anyone knows the cure for Devil’s Blisters please let me know!
So the Devil’s Blisters have not killed me! Yet. I’m still on the fence about whether I will be dead soon. Check back for updates.
But while we are on the subject, here is why I love my friends: when I posted about my Devil’s Blisters, instead of being like “Liz. It’s blisters. Calm down.” They were all “Clearly your foot is haunted. You will need an old priest and a young priest. And the pope, just for good measure. Make sure your foot doesn’t start speaking in tongues.” And that is why I have pretty much the best friends ever.
I’m writing this from the airport (Boo! Vacation ending!) but I think I am taking some Grown Up Life Lessons away from this trip and I wanted to share them.
Liz’s Grown Up Life Lessons
1) Never drop your iPhone. Especially onto concrete outside of Rockin’ Rollercoaster. It does not make for a fun ride.
2) When going to Disney World, pack your own toilet paper.
3) Cinderella’s Royal Table is still TOTALLY AWESOME for adults. You don’t need a kid to do that ish.
4) Some days you will be the crazy lady on the bus. That is just an unavoidable part of life.
5) DO NOT DROP YOUR IPHONE. I really cannot stress this enough.
6) This is probably the most important lesson, and that is that part of being a grown up is having friends you can’t be around all the time.
This is one that I’ve been having a really tough time with since basically forever and I’m still probably going to struggle with it, but hopefully I am on my way to accepting this fact.
On this trip I got to see two of my favorite people in the world, and it was great, but very brief. These particular people didn’t come into my life until I was almost done with my Disney internship and I really haven’t gotten to spend a ton of time with them, but from the very beginning we hit it off super great and it was pretty much instantaneous friend love.
I got to meet up with them at EPCOT for a couple of hours, and it was magical, but the time went by way too fast and all of a sudden they had to leave and it was very sad. Actually when my friend found out it was almost time to go she shouted “NO!!” But then she said that she had promised herself to enjoy our visit and not get upset about leaving. That’s when I thought “Wow. My friends are grown ups.”
I am the literal worst at good byes because I get so sad about them so prematurely that I’m not even able to fully enjoy the visit.
So many of my favorite people are spread across the country and I want to live in a dream world where we are all neighbors and get to hang out with everyone all the time an it’s just puppies and rainbows and Mickey Mouse and unicorns all the time! But I’m beginning to suspect that part of growing up is learning how to nurture those friendships from a distance and accepting that all my loved ones will never simultaneously live within a 4 mile radius of me.
This makes me very sad. But in a way it’s also kind of freeing, because if I can accept this as fact then I won’t have to be so sad at goodbyes because I will be more able to accept that our friendship, even though it is over a long distance, can still be totally awesome and fulfilling and when we do see each other again it will be great!
This week I am really going to put his theory to the test. My bestie is coming into town and I have been totally spoiled in the past 3 months because I have been seeing her basically once a month. I’ve been out to Denver twice and now she is coming to Chicago tomorrow!!!
She has never been and I am SO EXCITED for her visit, but after that I won’t be out to Denver until October, so it’s sad to think that all this uber visiting is kind of ending.
But here and now I am challenging myself to enjoy her visit and not be sad when it ends. Because we he been so lucky to see each other so much recently and that shouldn’t be a sad thing. It should just be the happies. Plus I know when I’m seeing her next, so that should make me happy too.
I have a feeling this is going to be easier said than done though. Being a grown up is hard.
7) For the love of Mary, Paul and Peter don’t drop your iPhone. Or you too will end up typing a super long blog post on a shattered iPhone screen while on a plane with a screaming child and an ear ache. These are proven consequences of dropping your iPhone people.
8) It doesn’t matter if you are going to Florida in July. Always. Pack. Cold medicine.
9) Never ride in the back of a plane with a cold. Your ears will not pop no matter how much gum you chew or how much you blow your nose or how many times you hold your nose and try to blow it until you lose feeling in your lips. This will make you want to die. You will literally consider throwing yourself out of the plane to end the pain in your ears.***
10) There is nothing like 45 minutes of pseudo no-ear-popping deafness in which the only thing you can hear is yourself frantically chewing gum in the hopes that your ears would PLEASE JUST POP ALREADY to make you never want to her yourself chewing again. This should really be the next diet trend. Block out all noises except for chewing and amplify that into the dieter’s ears and they will stop eating altogether. Cuz chewing sounds gross. Seriously.
And just for good measure:
11) Never drop you iPhone.
I bet you guys forgot this was a list right around #6. I totally did. Sorry bout that.
What Grown Up Life Lessons are you learning Internet?
*** I don’t really know of the inability to pop my ears had anything to do with being in the back of the plain but the girl across the aisle from me said it did. And I believed her because when you are in that kind of pain you will basically believe anything. She could have told me the mystical narwhals were punishing me for wearing blue shoes and I would have been like “I AM THROWING THESE SHOES OUT ROGHT NOW.” That’s how much my ears hurt.
Know what’s awesome?
Going to run an errand on your lunch break and realizing at check out that your mom has your debit card and driver’s license because you thought it would be easier to keep them in her purse than your backpack at the airport yesterday and then you totally forgot to take them out again once you were through security.
It’s almost as awesome as realizing that for some reason you have your checkbook, which you never have on you, so you could write a check for the $12 purchase you are trying to make, except that they need your driver’s license to process the check so you still can’t run your errand.
That is all made even more awesome by the realization that you were planning on buying your lunch today and you are hungry and have no food.
Add that to the fact that you drove your mom’s much nicer and more expensive car to work today (just in case the lost luggage came in and she was able to drive out to pick up the dogs) with no proof of being a licensed driver on your person, and you’ve got yourself an awesome sandwich.
Your awesome sandwich pairs well with the fact that the airline still has absolutely no idea where your luggage is so driving her car to work was kind of a moot point, because she has to stay in and wait for the airline to call.
If you want to make it even more awesome, make sure that you packed all of your make up in your checked bag so that the odds of you looking presentable in the foreseeable future are drastically low.
If you really want to go all the way down the road to awesome though, you really should make sure you catch the death first, so that as all of this is going down you will feel like an asthmatic zombie who forgot how their nose works. Also, get very little sleep so you also look like said zombie.
And don’t forget to have a shattered phone. That’s the awesome cherry on top of the awesome sundae that is your first day back from vacation.
How are you doing internet? Anyone feeling as awesome as I am right now?
PS I did get to eat, because I somehow had my mom’s debit card on my person. Also my grandparents picked up the dogs, so our pets have not been abandoned. So those are good things I guess.
PPS My bestie is getting into town tonight, so none of that other stuff really matters because her visit WILL be awesome
PPPS Ok, the luggage thing matters a little. I would like to have my luggage.
I REALLY hope I’m not jinxing myself by posting that last one. Because I’m not emotionally prepared to go through that again.
Anyway, enjoy your week internet! I’ll talk to you when I get back!