Hey Internet. It’s Tuesday, but I really don’t have it in me to write much except to sat that having depression can kind of suck sometimes. Like a lot. I am in full on operation-feel-good mode which leaves me mentally, physically and emotionally drained. I wrote something really long and probably convoluted about it, but I am waiting to post it until Old Roommate (my partner in metal instability) reads it and approves it. But, lesbi-honest, it will never come close to Allie Brosh’s explanations of what depression is like (Part 1; Part 2). So today I am going to first and foremost suggest you go read Allie’s posts because they are accurate and entertaining and important. Then I am going to post one of my older posts that some of you may have never read before because I am proud of it and it is a lot easier to do this than to make my head work correctly.
I wrote this post in July last year after a few wonderful crazy and hectic weeks, that culminated with a visit fro my bestie and her now-husband. I feel it is appropriate to my current mind space. Plus I reference it in my sidebar bio and I wanted to help you all understand what I was talking about. So here it is:
The Great Sweet Potato Melt Down of 2013
So there is a theory in communication that we communicate differently when we take on different roles. (I know because I have a big fancy bachelors degree in communication.)
Anyway, I’m not sure exactly what role I was taking on today at the grocery store, but it ended up with me yelling “BUT I WANTED SWEET POTATO FRIES!!!” To an empty potato case in the freezer section. Clearly I am a communications scholar.
And trust me, I know how embarrassing it is to almost cry in a grocery store over sweet potato fries. I probably know better than you do. Because I did it today. What did you do today internet? What’s that? Not almost burst into tears in the middle of the frozen pizza aisle?… That’s cool I guess…
Before I discuss the happenings that led to this almost crying jag, let me preface this with a giant: Yes. I know this is crazy.
But I would like to counter with the facts that a) sweet potato fries are totally delicious and b) I think we all already knew that I was a little crazy.
Anyhoo, I think a number of things led to me almost cry in the grocery store, and since I love you so much internet, I am going to share them with you:
- After the two weeks of complete AWESOME, this week has been a bit of an “Oh… We are back in real life again… ok…” Over all, I am really proud of the way I handled the week ending. I had written about wanting to be able to enjoy our entire visit without dreading the goodbye, and I feel like I was really able to do that. But this week was still a bit of a transition… And I am not a fan of transition…
- My mom is leaving on vacation with my family and leaving me with 3 cats and 3 dogs and I have to be a real grown up for a week. There is nothing like being forced into adulthood to lead to a full on french-fry related tantrum.
- The past two days at work have been a bit hectic. Not bad. Just hectic. So I’m a bit tired.
But the main thing that caused my sweet potato melt down?…Nothing… Sometimes the crazy just comes out.
Sometimes your just going about your day and suddenly your sad for no reason. Sometimes you just really want some sweet potato fries. And sometimes generalized self doubt and pointless comparisons make you feel forever less-than.
And those are the times you need to remind yourself that you are not less-than. That you have a lot going for you and that you are completely loved. And that you live in a town with numerous grocery stores, so all is not lost.
But seriously, what grocery store lets it’s frozen potato section be COMPLETELY EMPTY?!? There was literally NOTHING in it.
What about you internet? Ever had a ridiculous melt down over something completely
So there’s that – some vintage Baby Got B.A. I hope you enjoyed it. I like kicking things old school, mostly because there are a lot of posts that I am really proud of that were posted before people realized I had a blog. This might happen again in the next few weeks because a) I like revisiting these posts and b) as previously stated, depression sucks.