5 Things Friday – True Life Work Confessions (That Don’t Have the Potential to get Me Fired)

Hey Internet! It has been FOREVER since I updated! FOR. EVER.

Between Christmas and the bestie’s wedding I have been a tad bit busy.

But the blog has been calling my name and I am finally jumping back in! I want to write a post about Christmas and wedding festivities, but I have some of the writer’s block and I thought in order to ease myself back into the blogging I would write a good old Five Things Friday Post for y’all.

So this week I bring you Five Things Friday:  True Life Work Confessions (That Don’t Have the Potential to get Me Fired)!

1) I still have a pumpkin sitting on my desk at work and tinsel on my office fort… My office looks like it was decorated by a confused cardboard elf.

I shall call my cardboard elf Jose. Jose needs to lay off the schnapps.

I shall call my cardboard elf Jose. Jose needs to lay off the schnapps.

2) I am in a pseudo –feud with an anonymous (presumed) left handed woman I work with. About two weeks ago somebody changed the configuration of soap and lotion in the woman’s bathroom at work. After attempting to wash my hands with lotion for the SIXTH time, I switched the side of the sink that they were on. The next time I went into the bathroom they had been switched back. (Yes, in fact, I DID find this out by washing my hands with lotion AGAIN) So I moved the lotion to a little ledge away from the sink (where it was originally before all these shenanigans started) It’s stayed that way, so I think the feud is technically over… Anyway, there are only 7 women regularly in our office, and I have an inkling of who I was anonymously feuding with, but everybody is friends, so I’m not super scared to admit to this on the big bad internet.  (But ladies of the office – if you’re reading this – can we all just agree not to keep the lotion on the sink? I clearly cannot be trusted to know how soap works. I apologize for my ineptitude.)

3) I use a lot of staples at work. Like more staples than any one person should ever use. I also remove A LOT of staples. Since I am a total hoarder, I may or may not be collecting used staples…. WHY?… I really don’t know… I think it makes me feel more accomplished? Like “Look how many staples I have removed! I’m so productive!”…. Clearly I need help. Turns out the cleaning people thought I needed help too, because they threw away my staple collection a few weeks ago. I had SO MANY staples guys. I was planning on doing a Five Things Friday about all the things I could do with all my staples (Melt it down for jewelry, weigh out exactly 13 oz of them and mail them to my enemies, lay them down end to end and see how many times they would circle the earth, ect) but one Thursday morning I came in and they were all gone! So I’ve started my collection over and it is getting big again. I think my new work place game may be “see how many staples I can collect before the cleaning crew holds an intervention.” I plan on winning,

(PS – I keep my staple collection in a paper clip dispenser. It’s contained. I wasn’t raised in a barn. I think my mother would want you to know that.)

(PS – I keep my staple collection in a paper clip dispenser. It’s contained. I wasn’t raised in a barn. I think my mother would want you to know that.)

4) Apparently I don’t know the alphabet as well as I thought I did. I say this because I alphabetize things everyday and EVERYDAY I alphabatize something wrong. Today, I tried putting an “I” in front of a “D.” Shameful. I know.

5) I wrote most of this blog post in my office on my lunch break. Because that is how time is working for me this week. Which is to say that I have none of it. But it is the weekend internet!!! Rejoice!

And for an added bonus, a sixth, non work-related, confession for free!!!

6) It is January 10th and 4 of my favorite people still have not received their Christmas presents. I have their presents. I’ve wrapped their presents. Their presents are sitting in my room. I saw one of them last night and I left her presents in my room. Because – fail.

So there’s that. How are you thins fine fine Friday Internet?




One Response to 5 Things Friday – True Life Work Confessions (That Don’t Have the Potential to get Me Fired)

  1. Pingback: Things That My Staple Pile Is Taller Than: A Photo Series; Or: My Audition for Hoarders

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *