This is Weird Guys

Ok my non-existent adoring public. This is weird. The whole I-have-a-blog thing is freaking me out. Not the writing, I like that. Not even the posting it to the blog. Its the sharing it on my facebook profile; welcoming the people I actually know into my mind and the way I think. The thing is, I don’t care if complete randos read my blog. If they judge me, so what? I don’t know them. I don’t care. But letting the people I know read it scares me.

What if you, assumed person I know, reads this and is like “Dang. This is dumb. Why do I associate with her?”  I’m not really worried about my close friends. They know me well enough to know what they’ve gotten into. Its those other people who I am facebook friends with. The ones who I don’t actively hang out with but will see occasionally. I don’t want to run into them and wonder if they are secretly judging me on the internet.

Background: This is how this blog came to be.  I wrote 3 entries in one sitting in a google doc, asked a few friends to read over it and then let them convince me to post it. I posted the first entry and then I went to post a link to it on my facebook.  My first instinct was to say “So I maybe wrote a blog…. you can check it out if you want… this is kind of uncharacteristic of me… this is weird guys.”  But my friend was with me and she said I needed to be confident and own it. So I took out all the “…’s” – a writing habit that I use a lot that the same friend hates by the way – and took out the second half. I really wanted to leave in the “this is weird guys” because I wanted to acknowledge that this is a strange step for me to be taking; so if you read it and think I’m strange, maybe its just because I had a weird blogging stroke, and you shouldn’t let it change your opinion of me.

But even though this is strange for me, my friend is right. Shouldn’t I just own the fact that I am doing it? Does it really matter that much if someone I occasionally run into judges me? No offence hypothetical person I sometimes run into, its not that I don’t like you, but if you are judging me thats not cool. If you aren’t then thats ok we can still have a totally awesome only-seeing-each-other-once-in-a-blue-moon relationship.

So even though I still kind of feel like this is totally weird guys, If I am going to do this I am going to do it right. And that means totally owning who I am and not caring too much about what the three people who will actually read this think.

Here is a picture of a puppy totally owning it:

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